Journal Excerpt: “Dear Ryder…”

Sept.13th, 2011

Dear Ryder,

Today is your birth-day, your first day on the planet.  And I am so excited to meet you.

I wish we didn’t have to make your mom go through so much pain to get you here, but I know it’ll be worth it, and will even make it more special, if that’s possible.

It’s so strange to have fallen madly in love with someone you’ve never met, but that’s what’s happened with you.  I have yet to meet you, hold you, talk to you, but I love you.  Very, very much.  And that love is about to skyrocket, because you’re almost here.  And when you get here, and for every day we get to be with you, that love will grow and grow and grow, so that on whatever day you’re reading this, I’ll love you exponentially more than when I wrote this – that day I was madly in love with you and still had yet to meet you.

The point is I’m going to love you a little bit more every single day.  No matter what kind of fight we get into.  No matter what you do or I do to hurt each other or ourselves.

I want to make you proud of me.  I want you to feel unconditionally loved every minute of your life, to know it in every cell of your body.  I want you to feel like you matter, like the world would be less colorful, less meaningful, totally off-kilter without you (because it would).  I want you to be free of the stuff that has always tangled me up and confident in all the stuff I feel insecure about.

I want you to have a life soaked in the goodness of God, where the reality of God permeates every part of your being.  I want you to feel the depths and heights of his love for you and for every part of His creation.  I want you to be able to find your place in His great story and live your story to the fullest.  I want you to enjoy God and get to shine as the unique expression of his love and glory that He made you to be.

I know.  I want a lot. But how couldn’t I?  You’re my son.  And I love you, am crazy about you, head over heels for you.  And I can’t wait to meet you in just a few hours.

Love,

Pops

Ryder James Rice, born Sept. 14th at 1:08am; 7 lbs, 12 oz.; 20.5″

Life just got a whole lot bigger and more beautiful.